More funny sayings - Uriah Oct. 2019

Me: Uriah, do you want avocado toast for breakfast? Does that sound good?

Uriah: That sounds...(pause)...bad. Sounds stinky. (we use the "Everything but the Bagel Seasoning" and it does have garlic and onion in it. lol)

Me, eating a cucumber for a snack, and offering some to Uriah: Cucumbers are yummy and crunchy!

Uriah: It's yucky and NO.

After telling Uriah to get his backpack (along with other multiple ignored directions), I told him with a stern voice, "Uriah! You aren't listening good this morning!"

He replied in an equally stern voice, "MAMA. NO SPANK ME."

I told him I wasn't going to spank him, but I needed to scold him because I asked him nicely many times, and he still wasn't listening. Uriah: "MAMA, you bad guy." SO DRAMATIC.

Rob, watching football, cheers at the TV. Uriah: “TOO LOUD, DADDY.”

Uriah is chasing Elijah when he suddenly falls. Elijah starts crying. 
Uriah: “Elijah, you ok?... Don’t worry I call the ambulance.” (Picks up play telephone) “Hello?.. Someone is hurt.”


Bringing Uriah home from school- 
Me: Guess who's gonna be home when we get home?
Uriah: Dracula?
Close....Daddy.

Uriah: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy....DADDY...
Me: YES URIAH?
Uriah: YOU NOT DADDY.

Sometimes I take Uriah and Elijah to get a treat on the way home from school. The treat is often a donut from Dunkin Donuts, which is their absolute favorite. On the way, I told Uriah that I was getting the donuts if they continued to behave well. Out of the blue Uriah says very seriously, "And Elijah....he's not listening!" (Mind you, Elijah was quietly looking out the window minding his business) Someone definitely wanted Elijah's share of donut! Once we got the donuts, I told the boys we would eat the donuts when we got home (it's only a 5 minute drive). Uriah reiterated, "Donuts are for at home, and Elijah go moemoe! (nap time)"  AGAIN trying to keep Elijah from getting some donuts. Very cutthroat about these donuts!

At Uriah's school, rather than to use the phrase "no," they use the phrase, "that's not available."  While playing with some dinosaurs at home, Uriah was creating a dialogue between characters. I wasn't really paying attention until I heard in a sing-song voice (I guess the make-believe tone of voice?) "That's not available." HA! Little sponge, I tell ya.

Not a funny saying, but whenever I wear some lipstick or my hair down (apparently, it's rare enough that it gets noticed), Uriah will notice and say, "Mama. You pretty." It's been a few times now, but it makes me smile every single time! What a sweet boy we have!

Kids Say and Do the Darndest Things

An early morning conversation amongst brothers:

Uriah: Good morning, Elijah!
Elijah: (turns head swiftly to the side) NO THANK YOU


A polite declination:

Me: Elijah, it's time to go moemoe (nap).
Elijah: NO THANK YOU

A tense situation between Mother and Son:

I had been scolding Uriah for something he was doing while we were driving, and he told me, "Mama, STOP," while putting his hand up. I sternly told him to put his hand down, at which point he not only kept that hand up, but decided to bring his OTHER hand up just to show me how much he WASN'T putting his hand down. I had to turn away and laugh! 

A demonstration of retention:

I often will tell the boys to "Be nice," when they are starting to get in each other's faces, or do something to upset the other. Often now if I or Rob scolds Uriah or Elijah (or even Sophie!), Uriah will interject seriously, "MAMA. BE NICE."

A case of misunderstanding (perhaps, deliberately so):

Uriah: (general screaming that accompanies toddlerhood)
Me: URIAH, STOP SCREAMING.
Uriah: Ice cream!

A macabre dining experience:

Me: Elijah, eat your chicken (on repeat throughout meal)
Elijah (also on repeat before each bite): Cluck-cluck.

A case study in theatrics:

Uriah(on the floor scrunched in apparent agony after a light brush from Elijah): MAMA, my eye hurts.
Me: Oh no, are you all right?
Uriah (scrunching face continued): I need to go hospital.

An important reminder:

The other evening, I had been so tired after a day of energetic mischievous boys, rushing around, and completing tasks all while under the weather. We were at the dinner table, and I was scrolling mindlessly through my phone on a mental break when I heard Uriah in the background, "Mama. Mama. Mama. MAMA!" (for what felt like the millionth time that day, when in actuality, it was probably only the...hundreth time) to which I responded, "NOT RIGHT NOW URIAH MAMA IS BUSY." Uriah told me, "Mama. Don't be angry. Be happy." I immediately apologized and told him that I wasn't angry. He asked me again, "You happy, Mama?" and I told him yes, I am happy. <3 Love my sweet boy!